October 10, 2015

Job Application: Stay at Home Mom

I've come to the decision that it is time to re-enter the workforce.

This decision is about three years in the making. I had never planned on being a stay at home mom, but when the opportunity presented itself as a win win situation, I took it. We have talked on and off again about me returning to work over the years. It never seemed like the right time, but for multiple reasons I think the time has finally come.

I've been swimming in the job seeking world for a few months now. It seems like an entire course could be taught on how to apply for a job. You need to know where to look, how to decipher job descriptions, how to correctly complete an application for each company, and how to compile a 'correct' resume and cover letter.

I'm sure I will look back at my stay at home mommy days and reminisce if this all works out. With that in mind, I present my current job description:

Disclaimer: To any fellow parents out there, I just want to state that I don't think being a 'working parent' is any less difficult or involved. We are all 'full time parents' trying to get it done! But.. with that in mind...

Title: Stay at Home Parent
Status: Full time 
Location: Varies, travel required

Position Summary:
The stay at home parent will be the primary caretaker of any and all children within the family. They will be responsible for the general well being of the house, as well as cooking, cleaning, and shopping duties. The stay at home parent will work under the direct guidance of God, and will work closely with their spouse on all matters related to home and children.

Qualifications and Requirements: 
- General knowledge of child development, especially as it pertains to meeting developmental goals by scheduled doctor's visits.
- General knowledge of first aid. CPR certification is preferred. Experience performing the Heimlich Procedure is ideal.
- General knowledge of all childhood diseases. Ability to differentiate the need to go to the pediatrician is a plus.
- Ability to multitask effectively and prioritize tasks efficiently under duress.
- General accounting skills. Good credit history is a plus.
- Ability to stand, run, lift, and tackle as needed. Good eyesight and hearing is preferred. The stay at home parent is an equal opportunity employer.
- Ability to work under pressure with varying work environments.
- Ability to cook quick, delicious, and cost effective meals. Experience on the TV show 'Chopped' is a plus.
- General knowledge of sweeping, moping, vacuuming, dusting, and scrubbing with an emphasis in disinfecting.
- Ability to work independently and with spouse is necessary.
- Ability to drive under extreme pressure and distraction.
- Ability to communicate effectively with spouse on all mentioned items.
- Other duties as assigned.

- General life experience required. Medical degree preferred.

6am-8pm. Must be available to work nights, weekend, holidays, and overtime. Must schedule any time off with spouse. Schedule conflicts must be resolved using 'rock, paper, scissors.'